The Art of Being a Dad
What is it like parenting from inside prison?
This Spurgeons online multimedia exhibition features creative work produced by fathers in the prisons we work in. It includes moving stories and poetry from the dads explaining what it’s like to be in prison and away from their families, and what their children mean to them.
Big thanks to National Lottery Awards for All England for funding this initiative.
It is estimated that every year 310,000 children and young people across England and Wales have a parent in prison.
"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"
The Art of Being a Dad operated from five of His Majesty's Prisons.
Covid-19 restrictions meant children of prisoners were rarely able to see their fathers.
For our families, this increased the risk of damage to their mental health. The Art of Being a Dad project provided a focus for prisoners, reduced stress and anxiety, and supported mental health recovery.
HMP Feltham
"You could see the love and sweat they put into their work in the end results they produced," said Verlyn Andrews, Family Services Worker. Verlyn works at HMP Feltham with B-side residents, boys aged between 18 and 21. Many of them are young dads themselves, others haven't had a father-figure in their lives as they grew up.
The opportunity to get creative reflects Verlyn, "really got them thinking about their lives and what is happening". Writing a poem or letter, drawing a picture or clay model allowed prisoners in his care to "appreciate their loved ones more as they were thinking about them".
Missed 2 of her birthdays
Those days were my worst days
Thoughts of your bright eyes
And your never ending smile
Keep my chin up cause I'll be home soon my child
Don't cry little minion
Hide your tears
You've grown a couple years
But remember as your heart beats
I'm still here
Left you at 2
I'm coming back at 4
Can't hold you in my arms
And I feel that to my core
HMP Winchester
Writing poems and drawing images helped to heal family bonds for prisoners in HMP Winchester. Produced in an informal lunchtime session, fathers (who began calling themselves the 'Dads Together' group) worked alongside the Spurgeons' team to talk about fatherhood and families.
Kerry Longhorn, Service Lead on Spurgeons Invisible Walls project in HMP Winchester says about the author of the poem 'My Girls', "despite being in prison, he was determined to be a good dad to his children."
My Girls
I love my girls
They’ve all got curls
They’re the greatest thing in my curly world
They pull crazy faces
And dance and sing
In fact they can do
Most anything
They make me smile
And my heart goes boom
Every time they walk
Into the visitors room
We joke and we laugh
And now I nod and I listen
Because now I think clear
I can see what I’m missing
I miss them so much
It makes me pullout my hair
And they feel the same way
So for them it’s not fair
Because it’s me who did wrong
It’s not them who’s been bad
So when I get out
I’ll be a much better Dad
Jeff T
"Daddy I love you and I’ll always be next to you in my dreams”
Mia*, 6 year old child of prisoner HMP Elmley
30% of prisoners' children are estimated to experience poor mental health.
But children of offenders remain an ‘invisible’ group with no shared, robust information on who they are, little awareness of their needs and no systematic support.
Although each family story may be very different, it is said that when a parent goes to prison the family serve a ‘hidden sentence’ too: a theme explored in the artwork below.
HMP Norwich
Dads created their work in projects they attended in prison including the Lullaby Project, Dads Reps, Parenting Courses and Orderly roles. The paintings were from the art department in Education. Fathers separated for long stretches from family used the opportunity to be creative to reflect on what they are missing beyond the prison walls.
We are Dads
We all have a purpose in jail
Each man to do their time and go home
At times it gets real hard
Ride it and keep strong
Each day is a day of struggle
Don’t give up
And
Don’t give in
Smile – We are Dads!
"It's hard - you miss your children growing up. All the little things like losing their first teeth and first days at school"
Prisoner, HMP Elmley
63% of boys with a father in prison (before the age of 10) will go on to offend.
Parental imprisonment not only impacts children’s short-term emotional well-being, but also their long-term health and social prospects. Without support the long term consequences are significant on every aspect of well being for the children and families affected.
HMP Ford
Anna Stephenson-Knight, our Spurgeons' project worker, enjoys art. Working with prisoners who might not even have done art at school she still believes "everyone can create something".
23 dads sewed "anxiety owls". Each owl was sewn by a dad to send back to their child to cuddle when they were feeling unhappy.
Anna has been making family tree pictures with the dads and explains, "You see the men – even the tough, dangerous criminals - in a different light when they’re carefully sticking little gems on gifts to send home. Those gifts mean so much to their families too. It helps to restart that connection".
The pictures are an opportunity for men to express themselves. Anna remembers that the dad who created this image said, "I can do these pretty things, I want a sky blue tree".
Anna encouraged their creativity. "One dad glued straggly green fabric under the tree because his children live in a high rise flat and they’ve never had a garden."
Anna asked why the dad had put the hearts at the bottom of his picture. He said it was for two babies who had passed away.
London Families
At HMP Ford they've had an influx of London offenders so Anna bought a huge London map. "I said, right, where are all your families based on the map? I got all of the men to draw around these little men templates to cut out a figure from the bit of the map where their families are based and we've mounted them. They've all got these tiny little red wooden hearts".
HMP Swaleside and Elmley
Lisa Hall, Family Services Manager at HMP Elmley, is passionate about her work with parents in prison.
"We encounter such challenging environments but also a lot of bittersweet and heart-warming conversations. They don't get the opportunity to see a lot of milestones their children are reaching, which are the things you just can't get back. They don't get the interaction with their children, the simple things that parents share at home like reading stories, taking them swimming, parents evening. All those sorts of things, they're missing out on."
"It is really important for dads to still be able to be a dad from prison".
This exhibition was made possible by the kind support of the teams at HMP Feltham, Ford, Elmley, Norwich, Swaleside, and Winchester.
If your family needs support as a result of a parent going to prison more information and support is available:
If you would like to leave us feedback on The Art of Being a Dad we would love to hear your thoughts:
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